(I got this from my friend Matt and it made me laugh!)
Yes, Ecologists. It’s sometimes tricky to distinguish an ecologist
from your typical human on the street. So, in the following, I relate
to you how to ”key out” this magnificent creature in your day-to-day
people watching. I’m sure, once you identify your very first
ecologist, you will become as interested in the sport as I have been
these past months.
1. Is the animal male or female? If male, proceed to #2. If female,
proceed to # 3.
2. Does the animal exhibit bushy beard growth and/or have clumps of
mud in their hair (may also include ears)? If yes- proceed to #3 If
no- you have not found an ecologist.
3. Does the animal have a permanent sunglasses tan and more than one
pair of rubber boots (varying heights – knee, hip, chest-wader- and
brands -xtratuf, generic Walmart, Cabelas-)? If yes, then proceed to
#4, if no, then you have not found an ecologist.
4. ***very important hint here*** Does the animal drink solely out
of metal water bottles while outside and glass jam jars in the office?
If yes, proceed to #5. If no, you have not found an ecologist.
5. If observing a group of possible ecologists, do 75+% of them own a
flock of clover-fed, organic for-eggs and for-meat chickens and/or
maintain large tracts of organic vegetable garden? If true, then
proceed to #7. If unsure, proceed to #6. If no, you have not found
ecologists.
6. Do any of the possible ecologists participate in inter-office
e-mail discussions about making a personnel-driven compost system with
lunch cast-offs, implementing more comprehensive recycling at
department functions, or where to buy a potted plant birthday gift
that was 1)grown locally and 2)not invasive to the region? If yes,
then continue to #7. If no, then…probably not.
7. If you find yourself, when in their presence, increasingly
admiring their love of the world we’ve been given, commitment to
leaving it better than they found it, and joyful outlook and
whole-hearted embrace of life…then you have found an ecologist.
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